I will start out by saying that no married couples likes to hear " so when are you guys having kids?? ". In this post you will learn why it's never appropriate to ask that question. Not to mention to state the obvious, that pregnancy can NOT be planned.
Our path to parenthood started in November 2009, when we decided that we would pull the goalie and stop preventing pregnancy. What we didn't know is that this was just beginning of quite a journey.
The first rule of trying to conceive for someone my age, 27 at the time we decided to "not, not try" is that your gynecologist is going to tell you to "try" for 12 months. So that's what we embarked on. At the time I was part of an online community of people in the same boat. Through the first few months I learned many things. One practice I took on was monitoring my basal body temperature. Tracking your temperature each morning and charting out your temps helps to predict and mostly confirm when you will ovulate. I did this for about 8 months and when I felt comfortable with the fact that I was "regular" I put the thermometer away for good. Let's back track to the months and months of heartbreak and negative pregnancy tests. We had no idea that it would be so hard, but man it was.
Fast forward to October 2010. I go to see my gynecologist for my yearly appointment and Ron joins me so that we can figure out what our next steps are. All the while I am in denial that we are closely approaching the point where we may need to seek the help of an reproductive endocronologist. After speaking with my gyn he lets us know that he wants to run some blood work on me and orders me to have a hystersalpinogram(HSG) along with advising Ron to contact his doctor to have a semen analysis done. I guess some of you are wondering why we have to have these tests done. Basically this is the beginning to getting any possible explanation for our lack of being able to conceive. My blood work came back perfect which meant all hormones were performing well. My HGS, which is an ultrasound of the uterus and fallopian tubes that have been filled with dye to confirm any blocks in the tubes or uterus. Well mine are just fine, no blocks or abnormalities of the uterus. Ron's analysis came back good as well. So, what's next ? My doctor put me on a drug called Clomid, which is supposed to help you ovulate if you don't on your own and if you do like I do. It's supposed to help create a stronger ovulation. I took this pill days 5-9 for two months with no pregnancies. I think this should bring us to about April of 2011.
By now I am coming to grips with the fact that we are probably not going to conceive without medical intervention. It breaks our hearts but we have a dream to have children so we make a vow to do whatever it takes. I search out the best fertility clinic in the area and I call Shady Grove Fertility. I make our consultation appointment for June 17, 2011. When I called to set-up the consultation I was able to pick with reproductive endocronologist we would see. I went with Dr. Eugene Katz, who came highly recommended by a co-worker. From this day forward our lives would forever be changed.
On June 17, 2011 at 4pm we met at GBMC to see doctor Katz at Shady Grove's Towson location. I had been instructed to bring the films from my HGS, blood work and Ron's analysis. We met with doctor Katz and he went over our test results and medical history. He felt pretty confident in giving us a diagnosis of UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY. What that means is there is no explanation for why we have not conceived. After our diagnosis we went over a course of action. For a couple with our diagnosis our protocol would go something like this. We would try 2-3 cycles of one protocol and if no success we would decide to try something else a little more invasive or pursue IVF. After deciding on our first protocol we met with our assigned nurse Priscilla. She is quite literally the nicest and sweetest nurse I could ask for considering our situation.
Here is a peak into what we did for the first 3 cycles with Shady Grove. June, July & August.
Protocol 1: 100MG Clomid, Ovidrel trigger and IUI on ovulation day
- Day 1- the day my menstrual cycle starts. I would call my nurse who would schedule me for a trans vaginal ultrasound and blood work for day 3.
- Day 3- I would go to the GBMC at 7:30am to have my ultrasound and blood work. During the ultra sound my doctor would be looking for egg producing follicles. They like to see more than 10 and generally I would have about 20. If you are wondering what the follicles do, one of them will produce an egg when I ovulate. Later that day my nurse would call and give me instructions for the next step.
- Day 5-9- I would take 100mg of Clomid. This is just 2 pills.
- Day 8- We would have to start "doing it" every other day. Yes, we had a sex protocol. Way to remove romance right????
- Day 12- I go back at 7:30am for another round of blood work and another ultrasound to see how I responded to the Clomid. All three 3 cycle that we went with this protocol I responded perfectly.
- After day 12 I would go back every single day for blood work and an ultrasound until my follicles were mature and I was ready to "trigger". My first cycle I triggered in day 15, cycle 2 I triggered on day 14 and cycle 3 I triggered on day 13. By trigger I mean I would come home in the evening and between 10pm-12am I would shoot myself in the stomach with a medicine called Ovidrel. Ovidrel basically makes you ovulate within 48 hours of administering the shot. Once I was given the green light to trigger we would also schedule our IUI ( Inter-uterine Insemination.
- 2 Days after the trigger was IUI day. For the first part of the procedure Ron would go in and have to give a "sample". The lab would then take that sample spin it around in one of their nifty scientific machines. The procedure is actually called "washing". What they are doing is removing all the slow and imperfect sperm. About 60-90 minutes after they wash the sperm. I have a catheter inserted into my uterus and the washed sperm are inserted in my uterus. After that we pray for 14 days.
- After 14 days I go back in for a blood test to check for a pregnancy. If the hormone HCG shows up that means good news.
Well we didn't get good news on any of these cycles so now it was time to talk about a new protocol. We made an appointment to meet with Dr. Katz after our second failed cycle so that we would have a plan if the third failed, which it did. We decided to try FSH injections since my BMI was to high to move to IVF. Shady Grove has strict rules on BMI for certain procedures. My BMI is fine for IUI but not for IVF.
So in September I got a new arsenal of drugs. these drugs included needles...OH JOY.
Protocol 2: FSH injections day 3-5, 6,7,8,9......Ovidrel and IUI
- Day 1- Same as previous cycles
- Day 3- Same as previous cycles. Here's where it changes a tiny bit. Priscilla would give me directions on how to mix my FSH( follicle stimulating hormone....read as produce more eggs) and how many cc's to take for how many days.
- Days 3-5- give FSH injections each night.
- Day 6- back to Shady Grove for blood work and ultrasound. Priscilla calls and I am to increase my meds and inject the same amount on days 6 & 7.
- Day 8, 9, 10- Back to Shady Grove with FSH changing each day.
- Day 10- I have 3 competing maturing follicles. My doctor is extremely nervous because all 3 follicles will produce eggs. I think he said " If you get pregnant with triplets I will kill myself". He told us to go home and have a discussion about if we wanted to move forward with the 3 eggs or forfeit the cycle. We knew going into this that our chances of multiples was much higher and were ready to handle multiples if that is what happened. So that day my nurse called and told me trigger.
- Day 12- IUI day...same as previous 3 IUIs.
Fast forward 13 days to October 20th. I get a call at work that my grandmother is in the hospital and is not expected to make it through the day. On that day my grandmother passed away and my blood test the next morning was the furthest thing from my mind. 7:30am on October 21st I went in for yet another blood test. At 1:27pm that afternoon Priscilla called. What I heard when I answered the phone was " Hello my dear, you are very early pregnant". I immediately started shaking and tearing up. Of course I tried to call Ron but he was in a meeting. I left a voicemail to call me back. I finally heard back from Ron who was in disbelief and so excited. We shared the news the next day with or parents since they knew about us working with Shady Grove. My first HCG was 38. Now the number is not what is important it's the doubling rate. The doctors want to see that number double every 36-48 hours. I went back in on October 24th for another blood draw, that number was 157. It was going up but slowly, still had no worries. Some babies are slow starters. October 26th blood draw #3 comes back at only 281. In my heart something does not seem right. Even still I enjoy every minute that I know I am pregnant.
On October 28th I go in for another blood draw before we head to South Carolina for my grandmothers funeral. Now usually my nurse would call between 1:30-2:30 with test results. On this day I didn't get a call until 4pm and I knew something was wrong. My HCG was only 361, by this point it should be well over a 1000. So clearly something is wrong. Dr. Katz was concerned that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and wanted to see me the next day. Since I was 8 hours away it wasn't possible. My nurse gave me a list of symptoms to keep an eye out for and if I experienced any I was to go to the ER. I went on with my weekend with my family while we laid my grandmother to rest. All the while my heart and our baby was dying at the same time.
On October 31,2011 we went into Shady Grove for emergency blood work. The blood work confirmed our worse fears I was miscarrying. The good news as if there could be any at this time. At least I can get pregnant and that miscarriages in the first pregnancy are very common. After a conversation with my nurse and doctor, they advised that I needed to come in every few days to have my HGC levels checked to make sure they were decreasing and that I would miscarry naturally. I asked Ron if it was ok if we didn't hand out candy that year. He agreed and also did not feel like seeing all this cute kids. For the next few days I cried the most tears I had ever cried. Even though it was only 7 days of knowing I was pregnant, it was the best 7 days of our lives.
After the miscarriage I built up enough strength to try one more round of FSH injections before we would take a break for me to lose weight to pursue IVF. I also began to see an acupuncturist to help heal my mind. It was probably the best thing I could do for my mental state. There was no success with cycle #5 so here we sit....2 people longing for a child.
It took more than you know to put these words out there for you all to see but we are not ashamed of our diagnosis and it's a great chance to educate people about this diseases. Chances are we aren't the only people you know going through this. I hope that just getting a glimpse into the life of a couple suffering with infertility will show you that becoming parents is harder than the movies make it seem.
I would also like to take this time to ask every pregnant woman out there to really reconsider ever complaining about your pregnancy. Chance are you may be complaining to someone just like me. That someone would love to take on the morning sickness, aches, pains, sleepless nights, swelling and all the undesirable things that come with pregnancy. I promised myself that when we do successfully conceive I will NEVER complain because I want to be a mother more than I have ever wanted anything in my adult life.
Thanks for reading !!!!
